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10-30-03 Walking away. Back turned but my head is turned looking over my shoulder. Thoughts of what will become of my efforts. Wondering if I contributed all that I could. Were those weeks of cynicism, when I couldn’t bring myself to lift a finger to drywall, install insulation, build a closet, creating a negative energy and burdening others with work and thoughts of despair? I dared to dream of possibilities with 12 people. We toiled through lies, deception, and inconvenience. We dealt with sacrifice, some of us had to embract it to continue on. There is a light at the end of this tunnel and I won’t see the end. I’ll scrawl my name on the tunnel wall and wish you all good-luck. The house broke me, but it won’t scoff at me. And I’ll never think of the countless minutes, months, and years spent thinking/libing about this house as… wasted. What I’ve done will be a big part of my life.
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